


When Winston Stopped Crying

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: New York, New York [8]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6852232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Never forget how much I loved you, and still love you no matter where I am."</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Winston Stopped Crying

**Author's Note:**

> I did my best not to make it too much of a downer while still keeping it realistic.

CJ ran her hands across the cherry oak casket, feeling the coolness of it underneath her fingers. Her son Timothy, now 26, stood at her side. His hand was on her elbow, ready to pull her away if she stood there too long. CJ's eyes were dry as she thought about it. Leo was in there; well his body was in there. Who knew where his soul and spirit were…CJ was never sure what she believed.

"Mom, come on."

Tim guided her away and other family and friends filed past the closed casket once more before going back to their cars and a small gathering at CJ's condo. She was in the back of the limo with her children and their significant others, saying nothing. Charlie still cried; her face buried in her husband Brendan's shirt. She had been crying for the past four months, since the doctors gave Leo the diagnosis and prognosis.

"I think it was a good idea not to have too many people over this afternoon." Stephen said.

He and Tim were still together, though they had spent almost two years as friends. Leo had come to adore the young man, looked at him like a second son.

"Yeah." CJ replied. "Does anyone care if I smoke?"

***

There was food, drink, and memories flooding CJ's condo that afternoon. Toby, Charlie, Josh, and Cliff sat in the kitchen by themselves, drinking and telling their favorite Leo stories. Jed came up frequently; he always did during these times. He had been gone for almost five years now. Josh tried not to break down when he told the story of him and Sam crashing in on Laurie and trying to get help for Leo. Sam was gone now too. Three years ago, he went to the gym as he always did, worked out, and went home. After a couple of hours, he complained of shortness of breath. Ainsley said she would take him to the hospital; he told her to call an ambulance. Sam never made it to the hospital…doctors found a leaky heart valve that was never diagnosed.

CJ avoided the good times and memories, floating through the wake like a specter on the fringes. She refilled wine glasses, squeezed hands and allowed hers to be squeezed, and handed out finger sandwiches. She tried to push back the dread creeping through her bloodstream at the thought of being alone in a couple of hours. She also avoided Winston, who walked around taking scraps from guests with few qualms. He had been whimpering for ten days, ever since Leo went into the hospital for the last time. He would cry all night, walking around the house scratching and searching for his beloved master. Then at daybreak, he would collapse in bed beside CJ, exhausted from his efforts.

"CJ?"

She stopped when she heard the voice. Turning she looked at Danny Concannon's bright blue eyes. Her favorite redheaded reporter, whose hair was mostly white now. CJ rushed to his arms, clinging to him as he held her tightly. They stood that way for a few moments until CJ pulled away. If she had not pulled away, she would have lost it. She promised herself she would not do that in front of these people…sad eyes and sympathy was the last thing she needed. Leo was dead and nothing was bringing him back. Her grief was personal.

"God, I wish our reunion was under happier circumstances." He said.

"You're here and that is what I care about." CJ replied. "Where is your drink mister?"

Danny smiled. He studied her with his reporter's eye, examining her without her knowledge. She looked normal but was cracking at the edges, like a porcelain wall with an ocean of water behind it.

"I just finished one. I wanted to go to the kitchen and say hello, but they want to be alone." He said. "Nora just caught me up on everything."

CJ nodded, having no idea what he and Nora spoke about. She hardly heard him speak herself…there was so much white noise buzzing between her ears. It was almost as if she had been hit on the head with a blunt instrument. Danny looked down when he felt a tugging on his pants. Winston stood at his feet, staring at him. Danny crouched down to pet him; the terrier accepted his affection and his crab puff.

"Cute dog. A terrier?"

"A Yorkshire…his name is Winston Churchill. He seems to like you."

"Dogs and kids Claudia Jean."

Danny stood but Winston remained close.

"Well, I better mingle. Please don't leave without saying goodbye." She said.

"Never. Go, we will talk later."

CJ nodded, retrieving her tray and walking away. Even in her grief and sorrow, Danny still believed her to be the most alluring woman he had ever seen.

***

"Don't ask me if you can stay again Tobus; the answer is no."

She hugged him once more, kissing his lips. She kissed Nora too.

"We'll talk tomorrow." She told Nora.

"I don't want to say it but…"

"I will call if I need you. I promise."

Josh and Hogan were next. She held her niece for a long time, then Josh joined in on a group hug. She wanted to cry for him, if not herself. In 5 years, he lost his mother, his best friend, and his surrogate father/hero. Hogan kept a close eye on him to make sure he did not have a PTSD episode. The Lymans now lived in New York City to be closer to the family.

"I love you Claudia Jean." Josh said.

"Me too. I'll call you soon."

After them came Charlie and Zoey; Charlie slipped something in her hand.

"Don't open it until you're alone." He said.

"Why did he have to do that?" CJ asked.

Charlie did not answer; he just hugged her again. When Donna and Cliff said goodbye, Cliff offered to take the whimpering Winston off her hands.

"We have plenty of space in Princeton for him to run around." He said.

"I also think he might like Shaggy." Donna said.

Shaggy was their four-year old Jack Russell terrier.

"I could never part with Leo's dog, as much as I want to kill him right now."

"Let us know if you change your mind." Cliff said squeezing her hand.

"Thanks Cliff. Goodnight guys."

When everyone was gone, CJ went into the kitchen. There Danny stood, making coffee at her counter. Winston stood close to him and that was not unnerving at all. Most people hated it; terriers seemed to stare. Grabbing a Camel Light, CJ lit it as the phone rang. She took it from the charger on the wall.

"Hello."

"Mom, I wanted to check on you."

It was Charlie. She had grown into such a beautiful woman. She would be 25 next month, and was married to singer-songwriter Brendan Spencer. Her father was there three years ago to walk her down the aisle. He was also there six months ago for the opening of her first off-off Broadway play 'The Bourbon Glass'. It was the story of a young woman falling for an older co-worker with an affinity for bourbon. She dedicated it to her parents and her father was there to see the standing ovation…two months later they found out Leo was dying.

"I'm OK pumpkin; I'm not alone."

"Are Uncle Toby and Aunt Nora there?"

"No. Danny Concannon stayed for coffee. Do you remember him?"

"Of course I do, he had that crazy red hair and beard. I didn't see him today."

"Yeah. Well, I'm going to go sweetheart. I will talk to you soon."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Charlie asked.

"Yes Charlie, I mean it. Goodnight."

"Goodnight mom."

CJ hung up, lighting another cigarette. Since when did they burn out so fast. Bypassing the coffee, she poured a glass of Jack Daniels, adding a bit of Coke for flavor.

"Your children are beautiful." Danny said.

"Children, ha. Tim works for the New York Attorney General's office and Charlie is a writer. I'm just glad Leo was here to see them grow up."

"What happened? The papers just said cancer."

"Pancreatic cancer; it took him quickly. Forgive me if I don't want to talk about it. Lets talk about you; you just stopped writing one day."

Danny thought it would be better that way. She was leaving the White House and so was he…the last thing he needed was to cling to his affection for a married woman. He went to London to start again and he couldn't do that with the CJ McGarry monster around his neck. At first, it all bothered her, not hearing from him. Especially when the e-mails started to come back with failure to deliver. Then life consumed her again. That was nearly 15 years ago.

"Tell me about London." CJ said.

Danny didn't realize how much he missed talking to her until they talked for the next two and a half hours about him living and working throughout Europe and Asia. CJ actually listened, not just nodding and laughing at the appropriate moment.

"It sounds wonderful Danny." She said.

"It was. I have had a hell of a life; only one or two regrets."

"Oh God." She rolled her eyes. "Let us not even talk about regrets. I promised myself I would stop doing that years ago."

"You've been happy right?" Danny asked.

"Yes, of course, particularly this time in New York. Leo and I had the best years of our marriage here. I will never regret a single nanosecond of my life with him."

Danny nodded, looking at his watch.

"My God, it is almost eleven o'clock. Time gets away from you."

"Yeah. Where are you staying?" CJ asked.

"Technically, I am homeless."

"What! What are you talking about?"

"I was planning to come back and live in the US in the next six months, either here or DC. But when I got the news about Leo I got the next plane out of Gatwick…I didn't have time to make living arrangements."

"What are you going to do?"

"I figure I would stay in a nice hotel suite for a few weeks until I find a place. It shouldn't be too hard since I have some money to spend. The Hilton has some nice penthouse suites."

CJ could not help but laugh. Men, they could just live in a hotel as if that was the normal thing to do. Leo lived at the Watergate for over a year after he and Jenny split up. He hated to give it up for the house in Georgetown.

"Don't be silly Danny, you are staying here." CJ said.

"Oh no, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Well…and…CJ, this is not a good idea."

"It is. You are homeless and I really don't want to be alone. For the first time since Leo went into the hospital, Winston is not whimpering. It was beginning to drive me insane."

Danny looked down at the dog, content at his feet.

"I don't know." He said.

"Come on, how about until you find another place. We turned Tim's room into a guestroom years ago. It has fluffy sheets and a desk for your laptop. Do you have luggage?"

"Yeah, Nora put it in the hall closet. It's a suitcase and a duffle bag."

"See, your things are already here. Just stay with me. Please."

"That's not fair, as if I could say no to you. Just a week or two CJ, until I find a place. I don't want to overstay my welcome."

She waved away the comment as she lit another cigarette. They were quiet for a while and Danny looked at her. This was bad on so many levels.

***

That night CJ climbed into bed and curled her body around Leo's pillow. It happened so quickly, the doctor said he had cancer and then he was gone. They didn't give him much time anyway…six months or less.

"It's a very advanced case." Dr. Reynolds said as Leo and CJ sat in his office on a warm April afternoon.

She held Leo's hand as he accepted his prognosis.

"Leo has been sick on and off for a year." CJ said. "Would the prognosis had been any different if they'd found it earlier?"

"I'm afraid not. This cancer comes and it ravages. It has a very low survival rate."

"Will I get a morphine drip?" Leo asked.

CJ looked at him with wide blue eyes.

"Don't you dare make jokes right now Leo McGarry."

"I am 82 years old CJ…we knew this was coming."

"Oh shut up."

Leo looked at the doctor.

"C'mon, do I get the morphine drip? I'm sure with just a few months to live my prior addictions won't matter."

"You are fucking incorrigible." CJ mumbled.

"Mr. McGarry, we usually give our terminal patients a morphine drip." Dr. Reynolds replied.

"Thank you doctor."

Coming out of her memories, CJ opened her hand. She held the box Charlie gave her before he left. Taking a deep breath, she opened it and pulled out a card.

'This was going to be for our 30th anniversary, but I won't make it. So you get it now. Never forget how much I loved you, and still love you no matter where I am.'

Always, Leo

CJ bit hard on her lip trying to stop the flow of tears. Underneath the card was just a ticket. It was from Pierre Roberts's studio, he was one of the best portrait artists in the country. What had he done? Would CJ even want to see this painting? She put the box in the nightstand drawer, where she found another envelope.

"Leo." She mumbled to herself, picking it up.

There was no way she wanted to read this letter. They had already said their goodbyes. Sighing, CJ sat up in bed and open the envelope.

_Dearest Claudia Jean,_

_I know we will say goodbye but I wanted to get this on paper before I'm too weak. I found out that I am dying today. First, I want to apologize about the morphine joke, I know that upset you. I honestly didn't know what else to say. How could I look at you and say I wasn't ready to leave you…I could not put that on you. We always knew we would reach this place, even though we pushed it to the back of our heads. God, how I have loved you. From the very beginning, remember when you ate both slices of pie? You've stood by me through everything baby…what did I do to deserve it? You gave me two beautiful children and 28 years of yourself._

_We have laughed together, had a couple of horrible fights, and made fantastic love. OK, much more than a couple of fights. I've ducked blows and sometimes didn't duck fast enough. Anyway, don't mourn me for too long CJ, please. I know that is easier said than done. Listen to me, OK? You, hopefully, have a lot of time left and I will be so upset with you if you withdraw to the house and close all the shades. Live baby, live for it all._

_Take walks; be with the kids; drink wine with Nora and Donna; see old friends; spend a lot of money; date again. That's right, see men. Be kissed, and held, let a man run his fingers through your beautiful hair. I know you won't even think of this for a long time, but think of it. Don't shut yourself away…your beauty deserves to blossom. I love you so much and I cannot wait for us to be together again. I hope it is a long time for you; I believe time stands still where I am. Be good, be happy, and never forget how much you are loved._

_Forever, Leo_

CJ crumbled into her tears, crying herself to sleep.

***

The next morning CJ poured herself a cup of coffee as Danny came into the kitchen.

"I woke up and you were gone." She said. "I thought you disappeared on me."

"No. Winston brought me his leash at 6am. I thought it better to take him out."

"He was quiet last night."

"Yeah, he slept beside me all night. Do you have breakfast food? I can make us something."

"Yeah. I really wish I could sleep in…it is hardly 8am."

Danny nodded. He pulled bacon and eggs from the refrigerator. Then he poured himself a glass of cranberry juice. CJ bit back the urge to tell him that was for Leo. She turned on the radio, shuffling around for a while. She didn't find anything so she just turned it off.

"I heard you crying last night." Danny didn't speak above a whisper.

"Why didn't you come in and crack some jokes? Perhaps do a dance. Believe me, it may have helped."

"Sorry. I still had jetlag. I collapsed."

"Did you sleep alright? I mean, is the guestroom OK?"

"Sure. You were right, the sheets are fluffy…almost as good as the Hilton. You know, minus the mints and stuff."

"I will put a Snickers bar on your pillow tonight."

Danny smirked.

"Do you have any peppers?" he asked.

"I don't think so. Most of that food is funeral food. Why do people feel the need to plow you with booze and food when there is a death in the family? Most of that stuff will just be thrown out anyway."

"Keep the lobster, crab, and Velveeta dip. That was good."

"Yeah, it was good. Don't feed any to Winston. He has doggie heartburn."

"Got it."

They smiled at each other before Danny turned back to his frying pan.

***

"I have asked Danny to move in with me." CJ said.

Toby and Nora sat in her living room with coffee and lunch.

"What!" Toby exclaimed. "What is going on?"

"He's homeless. I mean, it is not as he can't afford a place, but he rushed home when he heard about Leo and did not make living arrangements. I don't want to be alone and Winston hasn't cried since Danny arrived. This is not clandestine Toby."

"I wasn't insinuating that. Danny has always had a crush on you and I don't want him to misinterpret your intentions."

"So have you Toby." Nora replied. "Have you ever misinterpreted her intentions?"

CJ laughed. She gently pinched one of Toby's cheeks and Nora pinched the other. Toby did his best attempt at a scowl.

"Fine." He relented. "I don't have anything against Danny, and you know that. Do the kids know?"

CJ shook her head. She didn't think either one of them would mind. They didn't like the idea of her being alone.

"I'm sure I will talk to them today. I think this will be good for everyone involved."

"So do I. It'll be good to have Danny around again." Nora said.

"Mmm hmm." Toby replied.

He'd promised Leo on his deathbed that he would always take care of CJ. He also promised not to smother her. He told Leo he didn't know if he could keep that promise.

"Try as hard as you can Toby." Leo replied. "Look after her, but keep your distance. Allow her to come to you…don't hover."

"OK, OK, I get it. You do realize that you've been spouting out rules, regulations, and directions since you've gotten sick. Leo, you've turned your death into Masterpiece Theatre."

"It's the only way I know how to do it."

"OK, I'm OK with it." Toby said to CJ.

"Oh I'm so glad to hear it. Now I can rest easy; thank you Tobus."

Now he smiled. So did CJ. She took a deep breath and munched on her salad.

"I am going to be alright." She said more to herself than to her two closest friends. "I always have been and I don't have an alternative."

***

"Yahtzee! Ha! Eat it!"

Danny fell into a fit of laughter as CJ stood and danced around the kitchen table. God, she seemed so normal, as if the unimaginable had not happened just five weeks ago.

"Damn McGarry." He said. "Are those dice loaded? Three Yahtzees in a game that is not halfway over. Why don't we call this a game and start over?"

CJ cocked an eyebrow and sipped her Pepsi.

"You are insane. I want to know by how much I kicked your ass. Roll, go on."

CJ and Danny had settled into a life as roommates. They had gone to IKEA to decorate Tim's old room to Danny's liking. She frequently yelled at him for leaving his open laptop on the couch in the den. They played board games, watched movies, shared the New York Times without bloodshed, and went out to dinner. CJ found she could just forget when she was with him. She was not sure yet if forgetting was a good solution or a bad solution.

"When are you going back to work?" Danny asked as he took his three sixes. "Not that I don't enjoy your company immensely."

"I'm not. I took a leave of absence when Leo fell ill. I just don't want it anymore. Nora will follow at the end of the year. We're giving Donna the reins…she is really good at what she does."

"I bet. Donna Moss was very underrated during the Administration. What will you do all day?"

"The same thing I've been doing for the past five weeks. Reading, relaxing, and hanging out with you…if that's OK. I think I may start to volunteer my time in January. But right now, I'm fine where I am. Ooh, four of a kind."

"How did I get roped into this game?" Danny asked aloud.

"Hey mom!"

"In the kitchen Tim."

Tim came into the kitchen and smiled. He was glad that Danny had agreed to stay with his mother. Though he would still come over twice a week to visit her, just as he had when his father was alive. Still, he and Stephen did not have to worry about her being alone. Danny would never let her wallow…he would drag her out in the Manhattan sunshine. Tim leaned to kiss her cheek. Then he got water from the refrigerator.

"Hey Danny."

"Hey Tim."

"She got you to play Yahtzee huh? Don't fall for it next time…she is a hustler."

"I think we should've had this conversation yesterday." Danny replied.

Tim laughed, sitting at the table.

"Sorry about that Danny." He leaned to pet Winston. "Don't play board games with mom. Never watch Woody Allen movies with her either. She'll recite the lines; won't be able to help herself."

"Hey, I am still in the room." CJ said laughing. "Let's get the butt-kicking over with Daniel. Your turn."

"Unless I roll a chance of 912 I am going to lose this game."

"Roll." CJ commanded.

Danny ended the game with a chance score of 18. CJ once again did her victory dance; that made Tim laugh.

"I just wanted to come over and check on you, but I see you are doing fine." He said.

"I told you I was. Tim, you can come over here anytime you want to see me. Bring Stephen too…but do not come out of some twisted obligation. I'm fine sweetheart, I really am."

"You are not going to cry on my shoulder mom. I just worry."

"Don't." CJ kissed his cheek. "You're right, I won't cry on your shoulder, you are my son."

"OK." He looked at Danny. "You have your hands full Mr. Concannon."

Danny smiled. Yeah, she was a handful.

"No comment." He replied.

"Good idea Opie. Go home Tim, have a wonderful evening."

"Yeah. We're having dinner with Edwina, Joe, and Shannen. I'll call you."

"OK. I love you."

"Love you too." Tim kissed her cheek and left.

"You're really lucky CJ."

"I know. Those two kids are the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life. I am so proud of them. What's next?"

"What's next what?" Danny asked.

CJ laughed.

"Ha! I got you to laugh. Oh, and hey you can't call me Opie anymore …my hair is white."

"So what. I think we should watch Biography; on Thursdays they play it all night on the Biography Channel."

The door buzzed.

"I'll get it." Danny said. "You figure out food."

"OK."

Danny went to the door. CJ looked in the refrigerator and realized she needed to go to the grocery store. She fed Winston, refilled his water bowl, and went into the living room.

"I think we're going to have to order out. What's that?"

"Its not for me. It is from Pierre Roberts' studio." "I can't open it." CJ took a few steps back.

Her breathing became shallow and she fought to capture it. Danny rushed to her side. He put one hand on her back and the other on her arm.

"C'mon CJ, breathe, its alright. Please breathe. What is it?"

"Leo, its from Leo. Our thirtieth wedding anniversary."

Danny helped her sit on the couch, told her to sip her soda.

"Is sugar really going to help?" CJ asked with a nervous giggle.

"I don't know. Lets give it a try. I'm going to open it OK. It's a painting so lets just see what it is."

CJ nodded, not wanting at all to see what was behind the paper. Winston came out and sat beside her on the couch. She reached out to pet his head as Danny tore the paper from the painting. It was CJ and Leo on their wedding day. They had some traditional photos taken on a marble bench. While the photographer reloaded the film, Leo lay across the bench and rested his head in CJ's lap. She stroked his hair, talking to him while the photographer captured a few shots of the intimate moments. CJ stared at the painting.

"Its beautiful." Danny said.

"Goddamn you Leo!" CJ exclaimed, rushing out of the room and up to the bedroom.

Danny, not sure of what to do next, let her go. He would give her time to vent before offering comfort. It was the first time she had lost it in front of him…he had been waiting for the past month. CJ McGarry was still the queen of the stiff upper lip.

***

Danny gave her a half-hour and then went into the bedroom. CJ was curled on the bed, weeping. The music, Ave Maria, played softly in the background. He lay beside her, unsure whether to put his arms around her.

CJ slid her body against his; Danny was entranced by the fragrance of White Shoulders. He held her tight until the weeping became sobbing, the sobbing became shaking, and finally the shaking became sniffles. Neither of them had any idea how much time had gone by but dusk was on its way out when CJ pushed her forehead from Danny's shirt.

"Now that was a damn good cry." He said.

CJ smiled, looking sadly beautiful.

"I deserved it. I haven't cried much…trying to be strong for the kids."

"You do realize they are not quite kids anymore right?"

"Yeah. I miss him so much Danny."

"Yeah."

"We never talked about it; didn't see the point. Both of us knew it, unless Leo lived to his hundreds he would most likely die before me. I got the scare of my life after that heart attack. Danny, I have never seen a man change his lifestyle as Leo did after that. His diet, his exercise, everything. I only allowed myself a year before I stopped believing he would drop dead on me. Then he walked out on the stage at the Democratic National Convention."

"You know that story is infamous." Danny replied.

"As well it should be. I honestly deserve a medal for those six years. We would've stayed the whole eight years you know but…"

"You never told me why you left the White House."

"The terrorist attack in Kiev was the last straw for me. If anyone was going to kill my husband, it was going to be me. I was so tired of crossing my fingers every time he got on Air Force Two. We had to leave."

"Obviously you were happier here."

Another sad smile from CJ.

"There was one big whopper, oh Danny it was bad, and we never fought again. Sure, we bickered, but that was sport for Leo and I. He was on his deathbed…" her voice cracked. "…and he was bickering with me."

"Why?"

"He didn't want me in the room when he died."

"Hey baby." Leo opened his eyes as best he could. He was so tired.

"Hey you."

"I need to go to sleep. I am so tired."

"I know, go ahead. I will stay until you fall asleep."

"No, go now CJ. Its OK."

"No." she shook her head. "I'm staying. Just close your eyes and relax honey."

"Claudia Jean, please. You are so hard headed."

She smiled, rubbing his hand.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too. Promise me that you will be OK."

"I will be OK."

"I will be watching over you."

She nodded.

"Rest Leo, go to sleep."

"One more thing." He said.

"Yeah?"

"Don't let the kids name the grandkids after me; I have always hated my name. Do you promise?"

"Yeah. I love you so much."

"Me too baby. Goodnight Claudia Jean."

"Good…goodnight Leo."

CJ bent to kiss his lips. She told him again to close his eyes. He didn't, just looked at her for a few silent moments that seemed to go on forever. But when he did, he didn't open them again.

"OK, you know what I need." CJ sat up and wiped her eyes. "I need food and caffeine. C'mon Danny, lets eat."

"We'll order in." he said.

Danny climbed off the bed and took CJ's hand. She took a deep breath.

"Get us some Japanese food…I need to wash my face. We still have plenty of Biography to watch."

"You got it."

CJ walked toward the bathroom. She stopped suddenly.

"He had a glass of scotch."

"Leo? When?"

"The morning before. Charlie smuggled it in…he said Leo sipped it through a straw. His first drink in almost 30 years. They had a glass of scotch and talked about Jed and Sam. I think Charlie could make a viable bid for the Senate and so did Leo. But he is happy in the House; he's popular in the party."

"Yeah. Did Leo enjoy his scotch?" Danny asked.

CJ smiled, nodding.

"Almost as much as his morphine, that is a direct quote. Go, get us some food."

***

"Oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining; it was the night of our dear savior's birth."

Danny rolled his eyes.

"You're 62 years old, please don't fall on your knees." He said.

He stood on the stepladder and placed the angel on top of the Christmas tree.

"I think this is the last year that I will go all out." CJ replied. "And now it is time for Wham."

"Oh please, spare a man. How many more times can you dance around to this song? I mean really CJ. CJ…CJ…?"

Danny turned around and looked at CJ with tears in her eyes.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly.

"Christmas 2001, the year Leo testified. I danced around to this song trying to distract myself from the fact that the House of Representatives was trying to eviscerate my husband. We made it through."

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

She wiped her eyes as the song played on. Danny shrugged and that made her smile. Leo had been gone for almost six months…she and Danny lived a nice life as platonic roommates and Winston never whimpered. She went to lay flowers on his grave that day before she went to a birthday lunch with Toby. He and Nora were on a plane to the Bahamas for the holidays. Tomorrow night she was hosting a small party at the condo for the family. Then she would spend Christmas morning with her children and Danny. Later, for Christmas night, Danny promised to sit through The Thin Man.

"Come here Daniel."

He walked over to her and CJ held the mistletoe over her head.

"Gimme a kiss." She said.

He chastely kissed her cheek and she smiled.

"Where should I hang this?" she asked after she kissed his lips "I want to catch everyone."

"Definitely the entrance to the kitchen then." He replied.

He noticed as she walked across the room that CJ tried hard not to look at the painting. Danny hung it against her protests over the fireplace; it was beautiful and deserved to be admired. When the kids first saw it, they both cried.

"I am going to smother Josh in kisses when I see him tomorrow." The merry tone was back as Wham went around for the second time.

"I think that's the only reason he likes Christmas so much."

"Probably. Are you hungry because I'm hungry."

"I'll cook us something…finally got to the grocery store yesterday. For two retirees we never buy food."

"I know. Its sad really. What are we going to cook?"

"I'll put some chicken on the griddle. Open some wine sweetheart."

Danny cringed.

"Shit, I'm sorry." He said.

"Ooh, your first term of endearment." She said laughing.

"Don't tease me you evil woman. I'll get dinner ready."

Danny went to the kitchen with Winston in tow. CJ whistled the song as she did some last minute finagling with the Christmas tree.

"Hey, can you bring me a glass of wine honey bear?" she asked.

"I am not your houseboy…get your ass in here."

CJ went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of Chardonnay. She sat down at the table and watched Danny cook.

"Thanks Opie." She said.

"Hey, if it were left up to you we would starve to death. Or gain 100 pounds eating out."

"Not just the food, everything for the six months. I honestly don't know what…if you weren't here with me…"

"Yeah. Hey, you know what the ultimate thanks would be?" Danny asked.

"Be careful buster."

"No, I'm being serious."

"OK. What?"

"Turning off Wham. Really, I mean it, I would love you forever."

CJ laughed.

"Alright, alright. I will be sweet this time. You better love me forever."

"I promise I will. Bless you CJ."

CJ got up and turned off the music. When she came back to the kitchen, Danny was setting the table. She watched him and smiled, truly grateful for his unwavering friendship in her time of grief. She talked with Leo last night in her prayers, and thanked him for sending Danny back to help her stay on her feet. She believed with her whole heart that her late husband was at least partly responsible for reuniting her with her favorite redheaded reporter.

***


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